Archive for November, 2012

My Conundrum

Posted in The Usual Dirties with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 28, 2012 by Succubus a.k.a. Eve Incognito

My conundrum.

What do you do when your ‘fling’ has somehow become a little more than simply that? I’ve been floating along on this happy boat for several weeks now….actually, I think it’s been about a month. Obviously, the onset of things with the Pilot was strictly physical; (yes, I find him terribly attractive and hence, the reason I pursued this) it’s all it really could be. It’s not like we knew each other outside of a plane at the very beginning; thus, the idea of simply sleeping with him was clear and uncomplicated. I was perfectly okay with that….initially. When did it get complicated? Well, to be honest, it’s not really complicated. He’s handsome, he’s fun, he’s skilled (in more ways than one ;-)), he’s honest, he’s sincere (from what I can tell up to this point), we are good together, we enjoy similar things…..oh, wait….somewhere in this statement I can read that it DID become complicated; I am currently unable to separate or differentiate a, ‘Simply physical thing’ from the, ‘Emotional thing’.

My conundrum ensues.

I can’t tell you when it really reared its head—this affection and attachment that I have to him….perhaps it’s just because of the time we’ve spent together that its gradually grown (not talking about his dick, although that happens as well). I know I mentioned something about this a post or two ago– I vividly remember noting my fear of the feelings I was starting to have for him. I also remember noting that I didn’t want to think about, and so I didn’t. We’ve had really great moments through and since my last post and to be honest, I really don’t want to share them because I want to keep them to myself. I dream about him; I dream about him beyond simply fucking him. I dream about being places with him, seeing things with him, sharing moments with him. I WILL say that because of these moments, the time I get to have with him, to be able to look into his blue eyes….let’s say that all these things started to affect me at some point—so much so, that I’ve started thinking about serious changes to my life, adjusting things to perhaps accommodate for him being part of it. I sound like a sap….and along I continue to float in my happy boat.

My conundrum intensifies.

I had a feeling that I had some not-so-yay news in my near future; I shared this concern with a friend. Several days later, my handsome Pilot shared with me that his ex, who has not been in town, nor was supposed to be for…I don’t know….let’s just say a LONG TIME, was coming back to town and she wanted time with him. You know that feeling—you’re standing on the edge of an incredibly steep cliff, or canyon, or bridge, and you lean out to look over the edge and you feel your throat and heart fall to your stomach and you feel dizzy, uncoordinated and for a second, helpless…? Yeah, that….that’s how I felt. And why? Since when did THIS become THAT? I had no idea that I could feel so… vulnerable …so challenged….so protective of this man, or this situation. And who the hell am I to challenge this new turn of events? Who the hell am I to ‘stake a claim’ to him? Who the hell am I to tell him that I know we don’t know each other that well, but that I want to fight to keep what I have with him, regardless of whomever or whatever tries to take it away? Who the hell am I to think that he might want the same from me? While I’m busy working out details of the complications of my life and how to rearrange the pieces so that maybe someday, there could be a ‘We’….she will reappear. Ugh-I feel weird-sick…I hate that feeling. And me….I HATE being that girl. I don’t know the last time I was THAT girl. I’m THAT girl right now. Oh!! Emotions, you suck because I have too many of you to work with—happy but hurt, optimistic but helpless, patient but impatient….and on hold….nay, in a holding pattern and not cleared to land at this point.

My conundrum.

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Love Hurts–for My Conundrum

Posted in The Usual Dirties with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 28, 2012 by Succubus a.k.a. Eve Incognito

Blue-eyed Pilot

Posted in The Usual Dirties with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 19, 2012 by Succubus a.k.a. Eve Incognito

He’s tired. He climbs onto his bed and lies down. I’m standing at the foot of it. “What are you doing?” he asks me. “I’m standing here watching you”, I say, with no real reason why; I just want to look at him. He gestures for me to go to him. I start to climb onto the bed but he halts me. “Too many clothes—take them off”, he instructs, but without demand. I do as I’m told, slowly taking off my pants and my shirt. He looks inquisitively toward my underwear—his face brightens like a kid getting a gift—he likes my eclectic collection of thongs undies. I assume he likes what he sees. With only my thongs and a white wife-beater on, I crawl to him and press my body up against his.  His arms wrap around me; one hand rests on my stomach. I can feel the warmth of his chest against my back. I feel him breathing near my ear and I get chills. I feel comfortable; I feel protected. We lay on his bed, watching a movie—I feel like he’s letting me in and sharing with me a vulnerable moment. I melt into him and I’m satisfied. Perhaps, for just a second, I feel kind of panicked. I fear the feelings I tend to have for him, because they don’t allow me to simply fuck him. The confusion that ensues is a concern, but I’d rather not think about it now. After awhile, I can tell he’s asleep. I like how this feels…my mind wanders…is this what it’s like? I’m not used to the sleeping part, the ‘cuddling’ part. I’m not sure how to separate the two sides of this situation; it bothers me to think about it, so I don’t.

I must have dosed off for awhile because I awake to the feeling of his hard cock thrusting slowly but forcefully against my ass. The hand that was wrapped around my stomach is now against my sex and his middle finger is tickling my clit. What a glorious alarm. As I stir, I synch my body movement with his thrust and momentum and I let out a slight moan. He sits up from his laying position and starts to kiss on my neck—the weak spot in my body that turns it all on. He’s still pushing up against me and I push back against him. I feel his warm breath at my neck and I close my eyes to imagine what we look like from another perspective. His hand is still caressing my spot and I feel his fingers dancing around my very wet goodies. I roll onto my back so I can enjoy the feeling more thoroughly. I let out a whimper as he drives a finger inside me…hard, slamming the rest of his hand against my tender kitty; my back arches in reaction to the sensation. Then he pulls it out and I relax, a sigh escapes from within me. I look up, into his deep blue eyes-he penetrates me with those, too, and he rams his finger into me again, harder and with more purpose. Again and again he fingers me with a masculine, rough, brute force that is animalistic. I love it, but I want another part of him inside me. I roll on my side to face him and I lift my leg up to rest on his shoulder—like I said, he likes my flexibility. He slides his dick inside me, wraps one hand around my ankle, the other is grabbing my ass, and he begins to fuck me. I run my fingers through his hair and clasp my hands at the back of his head; my eyes meet his eyes and they engulf me; I cross through him, through his blue eyes—I’m inside him the way he’s inside me.  We hold the gaze and I know he knows I’m cuming; he intensifies and he goes deeper. The contortion on his face tells me he’s cuming soon, too. In this moment, I am happy.

Kisses, Eve

Blue-eyed Pilot

Posted in The Usual Dirties on November 19, 2012 by Succubus a.k.a. Eve Incognito

Via Vevo for Blue-eyed Pilot Entry

Come Fly with Me Saga-Part 6

Posted in The Usual Dirties with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 13, 2012 by Succubus a.k.a. Eve Incognito

My handsome, blue-eyed pilot…I sought him out, and now I have him. I have him more than I thought I would. His dick is violent to my poor kitty…he makes me bleed…but I like it. He’s surprised by how delicate my pussy is, and perhaps proud by his ability to do damage to it. I impress him with my flexibility; at the same time, it allows him to penetrate me in ways perhaps new to him…or not…either way, I’m new to him and I like that he likes that.

The eye contact that I spoke of earlier carries over to when we fuck. I didn’t think this would be the case, because rarely is there that level of intimacy when two people fuck like animals. And we do. He’s left bruises from where he grabs me when he’s cumming. I hate the way they look, but I wear them like badges for something I’ve done well. He grabs my tits when I’m sitting on top…on his dick; he grabs them harder when we fuck harder—he’s unaccustomed to the size and suppleness; he likes when they’re in his face when I’m on top riding him.

Each time we get together, our sex is an explosion of the buildup of all the pent up tension that we’ve both been housing. By the time I arrive at his place, I’m so wet with the anticipation of finally feeling him inside me. One after another after another I cum. When we’re away from one another, not fucking, I close my eyes and I see his face, his blue eyes looking into mine, as I let his dick slowly slide into my warm sex–I hear a faint moan from his throat. I crave him…I crave his taste in my mouth. I crave his hard dick in my moisture. I got what I wanted…I want more…..I’m insatiable.

Stay Sexy, Eve.